The mention of windows in this passage depicts how it acted as a barrier from the outside world and how gazing out of it from the confines of a house provides the hunger for freedom with a bittersweet reality. This is the life Esperanza hopes to avoid and she seeks to do so by changing her name to one that fits her true self. Change it to something that her friends wouldn’t laugh at, something like "Zeze the X."
I can relate to her troubles. As a kid my name would be often be mispronounced or made fun of. For some reason I'd want to rename myself to Christian, my middle name. As time went by I found pride in it--as the story progresses Esperanza does the same as she matures.
-Akim C.-
This is a big improvement, guys. This is readable and interesting, and I'm glad to see your revisions. However, the thing to remember about a blog is that it really is a kind of digital publishing. The same way that you would not want to publish a book or magazine or newspaper that is filled with errors, your blog should not have them either. I see one capitalization error and at least one punctuation error. Also, please keep the entire blog in the present tense. It's confusing when you jump back and forth. Can you fix that, too? Good job, and keep on bloggin'!
ReplyDeleteSo, I am still not seeing enough work for your group to pass this assignment. Be advised that you're in danger of failing this project.
ReplyDeleteAvoid the use of "myself" for emphasis as in your last paragraph. Keep it simple. "I can relate to her troubles" is stronger and clearer. Get to the point. Stay to the point. Avoid excess verbiage. You are still too wordy.
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